1 month after
It's been a month since Huey died. I still miss him. We still miss him. Jun and I kept ourselves busy the past month. Jun was busy with his motorbike and his Kabalikat group. He upgraded the parts of his motorbike, Surf the net about Suzuki Raider R150 and joined the motorcade of Kabalikad Civicom in Naga. Me? I go out, sometimes with Jun, sometimes with my siblings. I shop. Yes I think that was my way of coping. I am happy seeing new things specially scrapbooking materials. LOL!
I kept myself busy, enjoy things around me, smile and laugh, socialize with other people, go out, but still I remember Huey. Some of my friends and relatives says I am so strong compared to Jun who is so quiet after what happened. But they don't know how I feel inside. If I see things that makes me remember Huey... I cry inside. If I see a mother who carries his child at the mall... I am so envy, because she can still carry and kiss his darling child. If someone asks about what happened to Huey I reply a little bit and go away, because I don't wanna cry in front of that person. The saddest part of my day was waking up and sleeping at night. Because I miss Huey sleeping beside me. I miss cuddling him to sleep and waking up at night just to make his milk. I miss waking up early because Huey was already awake and seeing him not beside me makes me sad. I really really miss my son so much!
I am strong because I am afraid of letting it all out to other people. I am not the showy type of person. I am like this but I am ok. We will never forget Huey. He will remain in our hearts.
Jun and I are talking about having our next child but I said I can't be pregnant now... maybe next month or another month... Losing Huey is still not sinking in me. I am afraid of having a child just like Huey who is a special child. I wanted to experience having a normal child. Jun and I wanted to be called Mam and Papa. Jun said he understand. He said I should take vitamins in order for me to be healthy when I get pregnant. And he promised me to be there for me always. Jun was so depressed not seeing Huey on his last breath and he was not there also when Huey was born. So he wanted to be sure that he was there when our next child will be born.
We miss you Huey! You will remain into our hearts! We love you so much!
6 Responses to “1 month after”
hello diane...
parang gabrielle solis (desperate housewives) ah, shopping as way of coping up. that's good to know, at least you have something to do to wind it off.
anyway, i think it's a nice thought of you having new kids. you and jun are still young, don't deprive yourselves the joy of having kids.
don't worry too much about things, diane. you will have a healthy normal child in the future.
Korek! Ako yun eh! si Gabrielle Solis! Sa ganda! Hahahahha! Sya yung gusto ko sa Desperate Housewives eh. Like ko kasi ang itsura nya. hehehhe!
Thanks Jen for always visiting my blog. Mwuah!
true, eva longoria is indeed one beautiful woman. i don't get to watch that show na nga, sayang.
i love reading your blogs...kahit ung mga "ad" blogs, i like reading it...who knows, baka next ad blog mo would be something that would interest me, eh di jackpot, di ko na kelangan mag-google. =)
Ay Jen meron ako dito kasi dvd ng Deperate Housewives. Natapos ko na nga sya, inaantay ko pa yung season 4.
Hehehe! Salamat Jen for always visiting my blog. Yung mga ad na yan binabayaran ako ng minsan $5 each. You too can do this. Magaling ka naman mag english eh. You just have to have paypal account. Ask Doc if he has this account tapos ipa-add mo yung email mo para meron ikaw account. Tapos if babayaran ka na ng advertiser pupunta yun sa account nyo ni Doc then pera na. Yun lang naman. Yung paypal kasi dito sa Pinas hindi pa nag rerecieve ng pera so hindi ka mababayaran. Dapat gamitin yung nasa states na account. Gets?
Hi Diane sorry I haven't visited in a while we have been away on holiday an d after a week of doing washing I am free again! LOL!
I am happy to see you paper scrapping again, a good start! Small baby steps!
You must not worry about what other's think- just because you blog and you scrap and you smile and go on holiday and laugh does not mean you are a hard, mean person who does not miss your son. I know you are grieving, like you say,-inside and no one can see your heart that is broken or hear your cries for Huey that scream from within you.
You will never get over his death, but you will learn to live with it, the pain will lessen in time and you will be able to think of him and talk of him without wanting to cry, without feeling so heavy inside. But you will always miss him. And when you feel the time is right you will talk about him, you will scrap about him again.
Until then you keep strong.
I promise to send you that parcel soon-just been away but will try get it off to you on Monday.
Hello there Bonnie!
Thank you so much for understanding me. Some really don't understand me but you are there. You are a friend who cares so much to me. And I thank you for that! I am so thankful that I have someone like you! mwuah! Take care!
Post a Comment